Divorce and My 2011

So a good friend told me I should blog about my divorce and this crazy year of my life post divorce while we were on an airplane back from Washington D.C. going through the SkyMall catalogue deciding all the things I could now afford by getting rid of my husband, so here goes. I've already made public that I filed for divorce on January 24, 2011 and my divorce was final on April 25, 2011. The best part of that for those who don't follow the Royals or dates, this was the week of the Royal wedding. Every fricking news cast that week was on weddings which was AWESOME the week you get divorced.

A couple of words on that, when you file you really find out who your friends are. Some people are supportive, some suck and others just disappear. Some of your married friends seem to think it's contagious so they bolt altogether. You also have random people enter your life. But what no one tells you is the day the papers are final, no one's there. It's not like a wedding where you build up to this awesome party, it's the most anti-climatic thing that has ever happened in my life and considering what a big deal it was it was weird.

And for those of you who haven't been through a divorce there is more paperwork then filing taxes with a husband who has a 1099 job. So while you'd like to kill the other person you actually have to talk to them more then you have probably done in years, which was my case. We were married for almost 9 years and together for almost 11 years and really stopped speaking or doing anything together for at least the last 4 years of our marriage. The other down fall was I wanted kids and he didn't. I thought at 22 I could change his mind, yeah that doesn't really work.

So I'm going to start posting my 2011 adventures. It's been one of the weirdest years of my life and although I feel a little vulnerable doing this on the web I know if any of you asked me individually I'd tell you the whole story so fuck it here goes!! Happy 2011!!

Finale

So, I'm divorced as of today. There is lightning and thunder outside which is my favorite. I enter this with mixed emotion. It's a new beginning but also an end of an era. I don't know how to feel, I want to feel happy but I'm sad 11 years are gone.

2011 BIG Change

So 2011 has brought a divorce into my life. I separated from my husband on January 1st and filed for divorce on January 24th. He has just moved out of the house while I was in DC last week and has a new place in Denver. Divorce in Colorado takes 90 days assuming you don't have to go to court.

We don't have kids and dogs are (unfortunately) still considered a possession in CO. We are trying to do this as amicably as possible but there are still scuffles over dogs, china, orchids, the important stuff. I am keeping the house and have spent this weekend trying to reclaim it for myself.

This is probably the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and I would not recommend it unless it's the last result. We still have to divide the finances which will likely be the hardest part then we have to wait for the courts to approve everything.

While this is the hardest thing I've ever done I am still putting one foot in front of the other, trying to laugh as much as possible and keeping as positive perspective as I can. I will keep you all posted on how things are going!

Happy New Year

Here's to all things new in 2011. Change is inevitable and my life seems to be changing drastically. I hope all of you are looking forward to the new year and all it will bring. I hope to keep you up-to-date better than I have in the past.

Update . . .

So I am still plugging away in counseling and I do think it's really helping. The last two counselors I went to were a waste of money but these counselors are good. I feel myself getting stronger everyday. I had planned to post my letter to alcohol but now I'm not sure if I feel the need to. I did write it which helped but I'm not sure how much I am ready to share.

I'm ready to start focusing on the positives in my life instead of dwelling on the negatives. So right now what I can say positively is that I am excited for fall and starting all of my crafts again. I am getting my basement ready for the winter to see what I can pound out this year. I would really like to get my scrapbooks under control if at all possible and maybe learn how to quilt.

Candid

Ok, so I just got home from counseling and I am going to start being a little more candid on my blog than I usually am. For you my best friends, please know this is in no way a cry for help or need it is me going through my own recovery and healing process in which case you may sense or definitely hear some anger in my blogs.

Today I was asked if I have ever written a letter to Alcohol about how angry I am at it for a family member's addiction and the cause for me to lose two years of my life while constantly trying to help and take care of that family member.

They suggested I do it on my blog as I really don't know who might be reading this other than my best friends and this could actually help someone else. I'm going to do it. Not tonight, I am really angry with Alcohol and in reality I have to leave my house at 4:45 am for work tomorrow and just can't deal with that emotion right now.

But be warned I will be doing it this weekend and sharing. Please do not read it if you don't think you can but I am doing this for me and my recovery and healing and in the faintest hope that maybe someone out there in the cyber world will read it and feel like they too can write a letter to a family member's addiction that has taken years from them.

I love you all and thank you for being there for me and I appreciate this forum to get back to myself!

Summer read

I know summer is almost over but I highly recommend reading The Help. This book takes place in the 60's in Mississippi and shows both worlds of segregation in the South.

With August always feeling like back to school month I am preparing for my busy season at work. I will be busy this month cleaning out closets, the fridge, and the basement. It's time to get the scrapbooking and cardmaking and other crafting stuff out for the fall and winter. I'm finally starting to get back into all of my crafts and plan to learn some new ones including quilting.